i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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