this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
