i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
