well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Is it because I queefed?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
