My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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