I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize