i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
