I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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