First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
