I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
two words: eviction party
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
