Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
