are you still at the devil's house?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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