There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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