OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
