Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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