it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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