Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
