We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
