and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
