talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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