Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
