So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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