You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
