YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
