you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You made out with two different species that night
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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