Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
