we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
