would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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