I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
