Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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