i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
