"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
