We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
