it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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