Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
