But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
