She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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