im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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