I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
