im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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