I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize