I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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