Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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