i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
