i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
