After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
