This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
