I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
