She is in my trunk
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
