susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I need to calm my uterus...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
