U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
