I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
3pm strippers are depressing
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
