Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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