Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
