If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
