the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
