it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
